Thoughts from a Human Flamingo.

Being housebound, crutchbound and mastering the flamingo fighting stance has led me to discover a few things.

One, I MISS STUFF. I miss having two legs.  I miss balance.  I miss sleeping without the brace, where waking up to pee at night is a whole new bag of tricks… I miss not having to watch the floor to make sure that my crutch won’t slide on something and send me flying.  I miss going outside, but as mentioned before, I live up in a second story apt and it’s winter in Ottawa, hence… ICE.  The second floor apt doesn’t freak me out, the stairs leading in and out of it do.  I have braved it with others but never alone.  Me leaving the apt now would be dumb anyways, as I am not a fan of ice and snow.  Looking outside I see… Ice and snow.  So I wait inside, for me to heal… or spring to come, whichever is first.

Two, I start thinking of things that I can do on one leg.  I bet anyone that I would be a master hopscotch”er” for sure.  I can imitate a flamingo pretty good.  *(I wish it was summer, I would wear all pink and  go out and stand on the front lawn.😀 Hehehe!)  I can make chili, learned that yesterday, and I can wash dishes. (Both of those require some balance from the other leg, or a counter, whichever I find first.)  I do a lot of hopping, and smashing of the floor with the crutches.  I’m sure the boys in the apartment below HATE me right now. Ha!

Three, I am very concerned with what my body will look like at the end of this stint.  For starters, I’m not using my right leg, but am overly compensating with the other.  I don’t walk as much as I do cart myself around on crutches.  I still eat as much but am moving a lot less…  I figure that if I don’t do something, I’ll have one little hanging and deformed, weak right leg, a giant over developed left leg, giant chest and arm muscles and be able to walk around on my hands. Mmmm, that sounds hot!!! *(At least I’ll be able to do push-ups… Haha.)

Four, I am resourceful with crutches, like a monkey with a stick.😀  I have learned to think outside the box when it comes to turning off lights and grabbing things from far away. *(I think this is a bad thing though, although it does make my life easier, it’s leading me to be even more inactive.  Great, I’ll be deformed and round… :P)

Five, what do I do with the Goodlife gym pass?  I watch my bank account get lower by 30$ every two weeks.  Do I keep the membership?  Can I cancel it?  I figure maybe I’ll use it when I start seeing a physio, or will I? (However keeping the membership would allow me to fix the freakish look my body will have after being on crutches for so long. Lol!)  On a funnier note, I can’t even really get into my gym as it has a giant flight of stairs to get down to it…  Yup, I should call them.

… and that’s about it for now…  I am sure I’ll think of other things, I don’t have much else to do but think at the moment.

Oooh, maybe I’ll make a hopscotch thing in the dining room…

One comment

  1. La

    Hey hun – about the gym membership, if you have a doctors note (or are on crutches) they usually have ways to hold your membership for you till you’re better.

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