Yesterday’s patio beers with my friend Melissa was one of the most WTF/OMG/??? days of my 33 years. Yeah I’ve done a lot of interesting things in my life, but this is different. It’s much more personal and something I thought that would never, EVER happen.
Here’s some backstory…
*Rewind 33 years – 1978 – Northern Ontario*
I’m adopted. I was 7 weeks when I ended up as a Mandy J De Geit. Mom and Dad (Judy and Gerrit D) were and still are amazing. I couldn’t have asked for better parents, they put up with me for 18 years.😉 I knew all along that I was adopted, they never hid that from me or my also adopted brother Adam We actually got second birthdays, which we called our anniversary. *(Yay more presents!)
My parents gave me my adoption papers when I was 18. It had tons of info from my birtmother’s side, such as physical descriptions, medical histories and the like. There were no names or anything to make finding her that easy. Along the Birthfather side, there was nothing, no information at all. (I’ve always thought more about meeting my birthmother than the birthfather, most adoptees are like that.) I realized that she was from a small town 45 minutes away from where I lived. A lot of my friends were from there, so I just started asking them to ask their parents. Who knows with small towns? That’s what I figured…
Couple months later, I get a phone call. It’s a girl I work with at Tim Hortons, Debbie who’s visiting her step mom in London, ON. ” Hey it’s Debbie, I think I found your birthmother.” Long story short, her step mom was good friends with my birthmother. Her step mom told me that remembers her friend being pregnant and needed the dates that I had to see if it would match up. She wrote everything down and said she’d call me back.
*Insert 15 minutes that feels like FOREVER + Jeopardy Music Here*
Phone rings, it’s the stepmom and she’s confirmed that it’s her. Diane Hardy, is my birthmother. The stepmom sets up a phone call, Diane is going to call me.
*Insert an even worse wait here…*
Phone rings, FINALLY! It’s her, and all of a sudden, questions that I’ve had for 18 years are being answered. I was originally Melanie Marie Hardy, well for 7 weeks and only to Diane. Any question I had ever wondered about, she could answer. Except one. She knew who my father was, but he didn’t know about me. She had told everyone that it was just someone from out of town or some story. She knew that she was giving me up, I suppose she didn’t want him to have to deal with it as well. That was cool, it didn’t really matter to me, I had just met my birthmother. Well I would be meeting her in person, as she still lived just 45 minutes away from me. Coincidence, maybe… but the story gets better…
*Fast forward to Ottawa ON – Summer 2011*
I get a Facebook message from my birthmom, Diane. I laugh cause she’s trying to set me up on a play-date with a girl about my age. One of Diane’s friends told her that her daughter was moving to Ottawa, because I seem to make friends very well, Diane offered to set us up, so Melissa wasn’t alone here. I got her email and added her to Facebook, once we saw photos of each other we realized that we had already met. My buddy Ron and I were attending a few days of Bluesfest and Melissa was volunteering there in the beer tent. We had a good long conversation about each others tattoos. *(Coincidence again…? Tattoos or her working the beer tent with Ron and I around.😉 Ha!) So back to story, we became friends.
*Jump to yesterday, on a patio, at approximately 300pm*
We’re having drinks on a patio, I haven’t seen her in three weeks, so I’m rambling about my trips here and there and my escapades of all that is Mandy. She stops me all of a sudden saying” “OMG I totally have something to tell you. So your dad came up to my mom and asked how his daughter was doing.” I was confused, I thought to myself that Gerrit, my dad, doesn’t know Melissa’s mom. She says to me: “Your dad works at the mill with my mom. He asked about you, I guess he knows we hang out.” Then, it sunk in… I honestly got chills and all goose pimply. I asked her how it was possible that he knew about me, or knew that I was friends with Melissa. He told her mom that he’s known he has another daughter for 2 years now.
I have to tell you, that information really messed with me, but in a super happy awesome way.😀
I don’t have to meet him, that was my thing for never trying to find him. I knew he was married and I didn’t want to jeopardize anything with that, incase I was like a dirty little secret or something. Having heard from people in the past, I knew a little about my birth father’s side… I knew that I look like him, he’s got a daughter that looks very much like me but with straight hair, and another son. When I was 18 the kids might have been in elementary school. I even knew his name, but that was all I could know. So I just left it at that… Til yesterday. With him asking about me, MAYBE, just maybe, he’ll want to meet me.
After 33 years of being adopted and having questions, some which I figured would never be answered but was okay with that, for yesterday to have happened the way it did… I definitely believe in something now. Meeting a girl randomly and befriending her. Her, who’s mom happens to work with the man that I never thought to meet and then him finding me.
I’ll just call it coincidence…