My Brain + Gym = Hilarity shall ensue

So I get to the gym this morning and I’m warned that a boy will shortly be entering the girls change room to fix some lockers…  I nod and say no prob, but as I’m walking to the change room,  two thoughts cross my mind.

One, OMG how hilarious would it be (for me, not him) if I just got naked when he was fixing something near me… Hahaha, awkward!! (I didn’t though, he seemed like a wholesome young man and there was a girl running around in front of him yelling, “BOY IN THE CHANGE ROOM”.)  I opted not to, but I now regret not doing it.

Second thought.  Don’t any girls here know how to use a freaking screwdriver?  Come on… Really?  There’s always like 20 personal trainers here half women, none of them understand the workings of a screwdriver???   I think I’ll pass on the personal training…


Here’s more things that I think of or have thought of, when I’m at the gym…

-WTF is that smell??? I get that gyms don’t smell like flowers and potpourri usually, but omg it’s like a septic tank backflowed somewhere… (I will be sure to check the showers before I hop in.)

– On showers… For the price I pay here, you’d think they could invest in something other than a crappy 2-in-1 hair AND body soap, which also smells like pine trees and baby puke or something.  (I’ve gotten better shampoo at seedy little Bates-like motels).  Bleh!

-Thank god for mp3s and the like. I’m not sure who’s in charge of the music feed but I’d like to say them… Seriously? I’m no DJ but it’s gotta be the WORSE mix of music ever.  I don’t see too many people rocking out to the pipeline music.  Ew.

-In gym signage sounds like a bad date rape slogans for a virgin… “This could be your day.” &  “You’re only new the first time” or “what’s stopping you?”  (I wonder where: “It will hurt a little” & “Come on everyones doing it!” signs are… Boys bathroom maybe?)

– Old men…. Must they watch me go by every time. Do your workout or ask me a flipping question please . Just stop staring!!!

– Why do people try to talk to me when I clearly have headphones in or am madly typing on my iPhone while trying to keep balance on a treadmill?   If I fall off,  I’m dragging them down with me.  (I should pretend that I’m deaf and the headphones are just for decoration… Score! I totally need to learn sign language.)

-Also, today my sweat smells like wine, not bad wine, but the wine I had yesterday… Hmmm, does that mean I’m fermented?

Thats is all…

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